Sunday, 18 December 2011

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Really? Another Five Questions?

Have you ever accidentally stumbled on to a simpler way of doing things? I used to spend a lot of time trying to figure things out. If I had a question, I'd spend time on the internet researching it, watching "how to" videos, and then trying to figure out which of the internet crackpots came the closest to actually being helpful.

It's come to my attention over the last couple of weeks however, that I have my own collection of crackpots who visit here and seem to have an endless amount of knowledge about the kind of things that I spend my time wondering about. Of course, I'm not sure you're entirely on my side since almost every one of you tried to convince me to peek inside the Kate Spade bag (which would get me in a ton of trouble), yet none of you were willing to help me figure out where my wife hides the good food (and by the way, that reward offer still stands). Still, you seem to be the best option that I have, so until I start drawing an audience that consists of qualified psychiatrists, I'll continue to ask you guys for help:

Am I the only person in the world who actually likes fruitcake?
I'm driving home the other night, and there was a lady on the radio who called in to complain about fruitcake. Essentially her argument is that nobody ever actually buys fruitcake for themselves, you only get it as a gift. That doesn't seem right to me, as I know both Lori and I enjoy fruitcake. In fact, it's even made it's way to the semi-hidden spot for snacks in our house (The semi-hidden spot is the one I know about, but the kids don't. I still have no idea where the "top secret" spot is. Maybe there's more fruitcake there...I'll keep an eye on the Facebook pictures.) but the more I ask around, the more it seems that most people really don't like fruitcake. You have to have a seasonal treat though, and I can't stand Egg Nog, so I'm willing to accept any fruitcakes people get that they don't want. It's my Christmas act of selflessness.

Fruitcake, Egg Nog, or do you have another Christmas treat?

What Christmas movie should we see?
We're breaking tradition this year when, for the first time in five years, we won't be spending Christmas morning at Disneyland. Even when we were at Disney though, we'd usually spend our Christmas Day afternoons at a movie (the park is nuts after about noon), so in an effort to not throw all our traditions out the window at one time, we'll probably still go see a matinee on the 25th. The question is, what to see? I've had a vote for the Muppets, a vote for Alvin & the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, and a vote for "the dreamy Robert Downy Jr. in Sherlock Holmes". I'll let you guess who cast the last vote. Neither the boy nor I really care what we see, so I welcome any suggestions you may have. Bonus points if there's a car chase and explosions.

Who carries more weight when it comes to choosing a movie? The kids or the Mom?

Is it ever appropriate to use electronic bibles in church?
I'm sure she's looking up an important verse.
Feel free to substitute any other location where playing with your phone isn't appropriate, but it was at church where this question came to mind. I don't carry a bible with me these days (and I say that like I used to lug a massive concordance around with me) because I have one on my phone. When the speaker suggests that we look something up, I pull out my phone and launch into the bible app instead of grabbing a book from the pew in front of me. While I'm fine with that, anybody looking over at our family sees all five of us staring at our electronic devices during service. This can't look good, and I'm starting to wonder not only if it's appropriate, but if there's a direct correlation between this act and the fact that we very rarely get asked to volunteer for anything at church. Just thinking that if there's a connection, I could make a lot of money with this knowledge.

Is my iPhone keeping me from ushering duty?

What's the earliest you've ever taken down your Christmas tree?
Lori loves to put our tree up early. We very rarely make it to the end of November without the tree being up, and there's some years where people could be excused for wondering why we have a Halloween tree on display. The flip side of this however, is that our tree almost never sees New Years. Once Christmas is over, it's over to my wife, and there's no point delaying taking the tree down. Her record is the time that our tree came down on Christmas Eve. Seriously, our kids must have woken up Christmas morning and thought Santa stole the tree. In Lori's defense, we did have a flight to catch that day, and we weren't coming home until just before school started, but would it have killed her to leave the tree up while we were gone?

A Christmas tree should at least stay up until Christmas morning right?

Should we give up our home phone for cell phones?
I cringe every time our home phone rings these days, because I know it's a telemarketer. Almost 90% of our calls at home are from "Unknown Name" or "Toll Free Server" (or "Texas" for some reason), none of which we answer. It's crossed my mind that the monthly cost of the home line would pretty much cover adding cell phones for the last two members of our family who don't have them. This would certainly be more convenient, but I'm concerned that eventually my cell number would simply get distributed the way my home phone number did, and I'll just be fielding calls from telemarketers in more exotic locations. While there would be a certain amount of irony in people calling to ask if I'm $10,000 or more in debt while I'm waiting for my wife at an outlet mall ("I just saw her go into the Gap, so yeah, probably."), I'd really rather not dread the sound of my phone ringing.

Is there an easier way to avoid telemarketers?