Saturday 10 December 2011

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Five More Questions On My Mind

Who knew you guys were so helpful? Last week I asked a few questions that were perplexing me, and I got lots of help. Sure, you almost unanimously agreed with what my wife had told me (Believe me...that didn't lead to a couple of "Why would you doubt me?" comments.) but I still got confirmation on some things, including the fact that you guys are all peeking machines, and you're terrible at waiting until Christmas to find out what's in a present.

So I thought I'd pose a few more questions that popped into my mind this week. I know that it's Sunday, and on Sunday you're supposed to go to church to get your questions answered, but somehow these questions just don't seem important enough to be bothering God with. Besides, I figure He's busy enough with wars, famines, and trying to figure out what Alec Baldwin was thinking. I'll just stick with your advice:

How are we not Starbucks Gold?
Did you know that there are different levels of Starbucks customers? Somewhere I missed this little bit of information, and that's rare as I can be a little bit of a status hound at times. It's possible that I wasn't paying attention as I don't drink coffee, but I'm pretty sure my wife would have no problem achieving the 30 drinks a year to attain gold status. Actually, when I first saw the details of this promo I thought it said 30 drinks per month and I still thought "Yeah, she could do it". I'll have to get her signed up pronto, and I'll most likely sign up too even if it's just for the free birthday drink. I'll probably never progress past the initial Green level, however if Tim Hortons ever opens one of these clubs, you can count on me to be Triple Platinum Diamond level almost instantly.

Where would you qualify for top level status if they opened a loyalty club?

Should we have our Christmas cards out by now?
Or perhaps a better question would be, should we send Christmas cards out at all? Christmas cards are one of those strange things to receive in the mail, as you're always happy to see them there, but then once you open them, you never know what to do with them. Catching up with people doesn't seem quite as important in these wonderful Facebook days that we live in, and if I need to see what your kids look like now, I can usually just check your profile. No, the real fun in Christmas cards is playing the "Did we send a card to everyone who sent us one?" game. I'm terrible at that game, but over the years we've developed systems to react quickly when a card comes in from somebody we weren't expecting one from. For most people anyways. There's always at least one card per year that comes in from somebody that I have to research to figure out who they are. I'm sure they're just randomly sending out cards to people they don't know to mess with their minds. It works on me.

Do you still send out physical Christmas cards? E-mail cards? Random cards?

Where does she hide the good food?
My wife knows how to start her day off right. She gets up an hour before me, and has herself a nice leisurely breakfast before anyone else is up and underfoot. I know this because I see pictures of her breakfasts on Facebook. Monday I awoke to a picture of pumpkin pie with whipped cream. Tuesday was apple pie with caramel sauce. Wednesday's photo was cinnamon rolls with extra frosting. It sounds like a promising start to the day, and I'm sure it is for my wife, but by the time I get upstairs an hour later, there's none of these foods to be found. Seriously, I look everywhere, and I'm not talking about the "man version" of everywhere that involves glancing at the front item on the top shelf. I move things and everything! Even going to those extremes, I can never find any leftover pie or cake. It's like Lori has a secret cupboard (and fridge, and freezer...) somewhere that she keeps all the good food in. I'll offer up a reward if anybody wants to spill the secret of where she hides this stuff.

Do you have a place to hide treats from your husband/wife/kids?

Are gift cards really stocking stuffers?
It's one of those things that drives me nuts about the Christmas season. I know that retailers have to make most of their profit this month, but I want to slap someone every time I see a $100 item advertised as "A great stocking stuffer!" Are you kidding me? $100 gifts don't go in the stocking. They get wrapped, preferably in a large box, and go under the tree. You know what goes in stockings? Oranges, Candy Canes, and stuffed animals that take up large amounts of space! Those are perfect for stockings, yet you constantly see adds trying to convince you to spend hundreds of dollars on things that take up the same amount of space as the credit card you used to buy them. Gift cards are the worst offenders. Do you know how many gift cards it would take to fill up a stocking? Hundreds, yet everywhere you go you see gift cards advertised as "perfect stocking stuffers". Obviously these commercials are being made by the same people who are giving away Lexus' for Christmas. Which is absolutely ridiculous - unless somebody wants to give me a Lexus for Christmas. In that case it's a wonderful, time honored Christmas tradition.

What's in your stockings?

Are we out of wrapping paper?
Guess what joined the Kate Spade bag under the tree this week?
I have really sarcastic children, but at least I know they're reading my blog!

Does your family read your blog? More importantly, does your family read my blog?