Friday 29 July 2011

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Lessons From Vegas

No matter how many times you go to Vegas, you always learn new things.  After 50 trips you'd figure we'd have it all worked out, but here's a list of what I learned this week:

  • Two hours before your flight is a little tight to be leaving for the airport. 
  • If you're big and you're bald, you probably don't want to sit down front at Terry Fator
  • It doesn't matter how well it's hidden, if there's an item in a store that's 95% off, my wife will find it.
  • The Monkees slot machine is really boring, but Star Wars:Droid Hunt is awesome!
  • The monorail is incredibly convenient, but $5 each way is too much.
  • It doesn't matter how much stuff they blow up, the Sirens of TI show still sucks.
  • Those stretchy cords that they give you with the slot cards are NOT meant to be weapons, but should you find yourself in the middle of a battle, what you want are 3 cords stretched together with a minimum of 5 slot cards on the end.
  • Just because a slot attendant tells you something, doesn't mean it's true.  Rum is always more than 150 points.
  • If you are dealt 3 of a kind, getting everybody in the casino to make sure the card you need isn't on their screen, does not guarantee that you will hit your draw.
  • If your wife asks you to wear a certain outfit for the evening, be very suspicious.

  • No matter what people tell you, the cards they hand out on the strip are not numbered, and you don't have to collect the whole set.
  • Nathans makes a great Grilled Chicken Club burger.
  • Mystere seems to appeal to everyone on the planet except me.
  • When the traffic lights in Vegas are red, they don't mean me.
  • Cutting through the Forum Shops to get to Caesars Palace may be shorter, but it's never cheaper.
  • No matter how much everybody wants you to, you'll look like an idiot carrying a flag at the front of a large group.
  • The TVs in the Mirage are set to full volume when you turn them on.
  • Nobody will ever see you singing along to a great song, but the moment you hum a bar of Justin Bieber...
  • My wife CAN drive herself around Vegas and lastly...
  • It really is the more the merrier.  I look forward to this trip every year and they really do get better and better.  Thanks for a great trip guys, and most importantly, thanks for letting me opt out of the boinger wars.