Wednesday 29 June 2011

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As a right of passage in manhood, I took my son to his first KISS concert on Monday night.  It wasn't his first concert, but it was his first ROCK concert.  This wouldn't seem important, but his first two shows were Selena Gomez and Lady Gaga.  With Katy Perry, Miranda Cosgrove, and Taylor Swift still on the books for this summer, it seemed necessary to get some testosterone put into his concert experiences.  So I took him to a show starring four guys in makeup wearing eight inch heels.  Uhhh...wait a minute...

Obviously I wasn't the only parent passing on his passion for mediocre rock punctuated with cheesy banter and loud explosions.  Just before the show started a gentleman and his son came in and took the seats a few down from us.  The boy couldn't have been more than 4 years old, but had his face painted up like Paul Stanley, and was ready to rock!  Well, as soon as he finished his pretzel he would be.  I'd love to tell you how he enjoyed the show, but my concert curse struck again.

I am a bit of a seat snob when it comes to concerts.  I like the better seats, and I don't mind paying a little extra for them.  That being said, I also have an amazing ability to pick seats behind the people who don't want to sit down, but in front of the people who don't want to stand up.  I'm perfectly fine standing through concerts.  I find it gets you a little more into the spirit, and I have far more "standing in one place" dance moves than I do seated ones.  I do, however, also have sympathy for the people who don't want to stand up.  They bought a "seat" which would imply the ability to sit down during a show.  This becomes extra important at a show like KISS, where the odds of having a 4 year old sitting to your left are equal to your chances of having a senior citizen behind you, who just can't stand through the entire show.  Some nights this can put you in a really awkward position.  Fortunately, last night wasn't one of those.

If there's one thing I like more than a really good seat, it's a seat with lots of space around me.  I've been know to move from center ice at a hockey game to the top bleachers behind the net if it means I can have a section to myself.  It sounds rather anti-social, but I just find it more enjoyable being able to lounge a little and not have to worry about disturbing other people.  If it gets me out of a situation where I don't know whether to sit or stand, then that's an extra bonus.  So the boy and I moved back one section and found some empty seats in front of the luxury boxes. 

Which brings us to the real sad part of the story.  Two years ago my wife and I were in New York and had the opportunity to see KISS in a sold out show at Madison Square Garden.  On Monday, my son and I were able to find empty seats with no problem in a 5,000 seat minor league hockey arena, in a city where the next best entertainment option was probably the back to back repeat episodes of Jeopardy on TV.  What happened KISS?  You still blew up about the same amount of stuff.  There was still guitars that shoot fireworks, fire breathing, and Gene spewing blood.  Sure your new album isn't that good, but you only played two songs from it.  I can't really explain where things have gone wrong, but I guess if I had to pinpoint just one reason, I'd blame the guys who wouldn't sit down.