Short Stories from New York City

It's New York City. The place where geeky people look hip, the hip people look ultra hip, and us....well we still look like tourists. I'm not sure what it is about New York that makes us look so out of place. Maybe it's the things we do. Maybe it's the way we look. Maybe it's the things we say.

Yeah, it's probably the things we say.

One of Lori's must stop places in Times Square was the HBO store. This promised to be a lengthy stop while my wife sorted through everything True Blood in existence, so the boy and I stopped elsewhere and then came over to catch up with the girls, but when we arrived at the HBO store, we apparently entered the wrong door. Instead of the retail store, we had stumbled into the HBO corporate offices, and we were immediately greeted by a security guard who asked if we were in the wrong place. It seemed like a scenario that the guard had played out at least a hundred times that day, so instead of just apologizing and turning around, I looked over at the boy and in my most incredulous voice said "They don't recognize you?" The security guard developed a concerned look on his face, but it quickly disappeared when he noticed the completely confused and baffled look on my son. I still say if the boy had one ounce of improv skill in him, we could be starring in our own HBO series by now. I'm thinking something along the lines of Game of Thrones, only with less physical exertion. Game of Couches maybe.

We took our kids up to Central Park and we were standing at the entrance where I was explaining to the kids why we can't stay at the Plaza anymore, when we noticed a street group trying to gather a crowd for a performance. To be honest, they were struggling for an audience as most people seemed to be in a real hurry to get wherever they were going. Finally, after many futile attempts to draw people in, a man got on a bench and began yelling: "Folks, I know we're a large group of black men in Central Park, but we're just dancing, we're unarmed, and there are police everywhere!"
They got their crowd.

While the kids were exploring our room at the Hyatt Regency Jersey City, one of my daughters came across the sign for the maximum rate of the room. I was summoned over to explain:

"Dad, are we really paying $3000 a night for this room?"

"No sweetie. They post the highest rate that they can charge for the room on the door, but you almost always pay less."

"How much are we paying for the room?"

"Under $200."

"Wow! You must be a real good haggler Dad!"

I wanted to explain to her that it wasn't a matter of me standing at the check-in desk demanding that they cut their rate in half, but I've never been called a good haggler before. I kind of liked it. I mean I'm not going to go up against Lori in a deal finding competition, but just for one brief, shining moment, I was the frugal shopper. We'll see if they feel the same when I try and negotiate a discount on their allowance next month.

We took the kids to the world's largest Build-A-Bear store to build their New York bears. The line was fairly long, so the boy and I found a place to settle down and tap into the free Wi-Fi from the cafe across the street. While we were sitting there, I noticed a little boy who was at the store with his sister's birthday party. He had already built his bear, and had found one of the cars they sell that his bear could sit in. For almost a half hour the little boy happily pushed his bear around the store in this car, stopping every five minutes to show his parents what a good driver his bear was. When it was time for them to leave, his Dad asked him if he wanted to buy the car to go along with his bear, to which the boy responded "Dad, do you know what parking costs in the city?"
They left without the car.

We paid a brief visit to Wall Street on our quick tour around Lower Manhattan. There's really not a whole lot to see there for the kids, but there was a little interest in being at the starting point for the Occupy movement. We sat across the street from the site, and I tried to explain a little bit about where the protests happened and what point they were trying to make. The kids seemed somewhat interested, until we got to the part about the camping on the cement in front of the building. That apparently didn't sit too well with them, and eventually elicited the opinion that "I would have Occupied the Hyatt".

If you enjoyed these stories, check out American Monuments - Canadian Kids for short stories from Washington, D.C.

The Bourne Obsession

Lori has a bit of an obsession with Jason Bourne (and Capt. Jack Sparrow, and superheroes, and Disney....). She has a favorite scene from the movies which involves Jason Bourne running through Grand Central Station, although she can't remember if he was trying to make a train, stop a train, or jump over the tracks in front of a train. In any case, every time we go to New York, Lori wants someone to relive this scene for her. I've politely refused the first couple of time we were there, but on this trip, each of the children told her that they would be willing to help out.

Yeah right.

We started out all full of bravado, ready to go, but when it came time to actually do the run, there was some prompting needed. 

Apparently my children didn't understand the size or crowd level of Grand Central Station, and enthusiasm for helping Lori relive the movie quickly waned...

Despite her best efforts to revive them...

If you have kids, you know what happened next. I had to step in to make sure that my wife got what was promised to her. It fell to me to do the run across the station, but there's a difference between Jason Bourne and myself. Jason Bourne is single. I'm married, which means that if I have to run across Grand Central Station...

That should convince her that we don't need to relive the cliff diving scene from Pirates of the Caribbean. 

This post is a part of Photo Friday at Delicious Baby and Friday Daydreamin at R We There Yet Mom. If you didn't get here from one of those sites, you should really go check them out. There's people there who are creative enough to live their own lives without recreating scenes from movies. Except for Rocky of course...I mean, we've all done that one.

Hyatt Regency Jersey City

We arrived at the Hyatt Regency in Jersey City by way of limo. It wasn't our choice, as the car was arranged by the concierge at the Hilton Times Square, but it was definitely an attention getting way to pull up to a hotel. It might, however, have been the cause of some confusion. Here we were, riding around in a stretch limousine only a few blocks from Giants stadium, on the very day that Tim Tebow was scheduled to arrive in New Jersey to make his first appearance as a New York Jet. Actually, if there was some confusion, that would explain a lot.

I'm not sure if Tim Tebow uses "Steve Pratt" as his fake check-in name for hotels (although it seems strange that he would use the name of somebody as famous as I am), but if he does it might explain the service that we received from the Hyatt in Jersey City. For days before our arrival, we were peppered with e-mails
confirming the details of our arrival, although the best I could give them was "We'll be there sometime on Friday" (sounds like a celebrity not wanting to reveal too much to me). When we arrived at the hotel, the bellhops addressed us by name, and although they tried not to show it, I caught them exchanging amazed glances at just how out of shape Mr. Tebow was. At check-in we were greeted by a V.I.P. host who gave us an overview of everything in the hotel, and assured us that our needs would be top priority should anything arise. We were being treated like the superstar that Tim Tebow is, and while I suppose it's possible that they offer this kind of service to everybody, any doubts that there had been a mix-up were removed when we got to our room.

This was a room truly worthy of a superstar. Sure, the real Tim Tebow probably wouldn't have had to burn a guaranteed upgrade certificate to land this type of room, but I wasn't complaining. The Hudson River Suite that we were upgraded to had a giant bedroom with a super comfy king size bed, and a window that gave a great view down the south shore of Jersey, including the Statue of Liberty (whose torch makes a really great nightlight if you leave the blinds open). There was also a nice work desk (for reviewing the playbook), a 42" flat screen TV (for watching game film), and a window bench all along the wall (ummm...for practicing kneeling?).

The living room had a giant couch that was big enough for two of our kids to sleep on without fighting, another 42" TV, and a bookshelf that contained a large number of literary classics. Much to my surprise, this actually interested my kids, until they found out that there was no way for them to download the books. At that point their interest turned to the snacks that had been sent up as a welcome gift. Apparently Mr. Tebow likes humus, olives, pita bread, and has a thing for Pepsi.

The best part of this 700 square foot room however, was the 20 square feet of balcony. The Hyatt on the Hudson is right on the water, directly across from Lower Manhattan. If you want to really enjoy a view of New York, this is the best one that I've ever had. Removed from the city you get fresh air, tranquillity, and a view of New York that stretches from Times Square right down to Battery Park, then across the river to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. I could have sat out on the balcony all day, imagining what it would have been like to be there when Sully landed the plane in the river or, tragically, on 9/11. It only got better at night when the lights came on, and none of my kids wanted to close the blinds at night, no matter what time the sun was going to come up.

Tim Tebow probably has a car and driver, but for the rest of us, as a point for venturing out the Hyatt is about as good as it gets. If you're trying to navigate New Jersey, the transit exchange is right out front. The PATH train station is right underneath the hotel, making it ridiculously easy to get into New York or further into New Jersey. You're also only one station away from Hoboken, and a visit to Carlo's Bake Shop. For you seafaring types, the Paulus Hook ferry station is a two minute walk down the boardwalk.

Look, let's be honest. Nobody mistook me for a finely tuned athlete brought in to be the savior of the New York Jets. I'm more likely to be mistaken for an accountant than a quarterback, but the point is that the service at the Hyatt Regency Jersey City is exemplary. Lori and I are diamond members with Hyatt, which I'm sure accounts for some of the attention (and explains the suite upgrade certificate), but from what I saw everybody was treated very well. Even if you have no status at all with Hyatt, I highly recommend giving this hotel a shot. If you're a Diamond member, you have to stay here, and on the off chance that Tim Tebow finds himself reading this (Hey...it could happen), I'm pleased to report that the Hyatt on the Hudson is ready  for your visit sir. If you could though, please stop checking in under my name.

Angry Birds in New York

Sometimes it doesn't matter how much you plan for a vacation, something happens that throws all your preparation out the window. Sometimes it's a little thing like a flight delay or the Statue of Liberty being closed. Other times it's something much more major...

Like Angry Birds releasing new levels on the first day of your trip.

Angry Birds at Carlos Bake Shop

Angry Birds at Central Park

Angry Birds in the car

Angry Birds at Build-A-Bear

Angry Birds in the Limo

Angry Birds at Rockefeller Center

The good news is, he beat all the levels....again. Just don't ask him where he was.

This post is a part of Photo Friday at Delicious Baby and Friday Daydreamin at R We There Yet Mom. If you didn't get here from one of those sites, you should really go check them out. There's people there who don't spend their vacations throwing birds at pigs. At least not while they're playing video games anyways.

Sailing on the Staten Island Ferry

It's the kind of thing that could give a guy a complex. Every time we go to New York, we put the Statue of Liberty on our "must do" list (along with Times Square), and every time we get to New York, it's closed for renovations. It's like Lady Liberty is avoiding me. Now don't get me wrong...I've had plenty of women avoid me over the course of my life, just never a 112 foot tall one...those ones are usually in to me. I guess we could have gone to Liberty Island anyways, but if I'm going to pay the $50 it was going to cost for the five of us to get there, I at least wanted my kids to be able to climb some stairs. Instead, we decided to take advantage of a free option, and do a sail past on the Staten Island Ferry.

One of the newer ferries

If you're looking for a close up view of the Statue of Liberty, the Staten Island Ferry isn't your answer. The ferry keeps it's distance from the statue, venturing a little closer on the way to Staten Island than on the way back, but it still provides a good, if distant, view. You catch the ferry at the South Ferry terminal, right beside Battery Park at the very south tip of Manhattan (It's also the last stop for the #1 subway train). It's a huge, well labeled building, and there's almost no chance of getting lost, wandering through a gathering of protesters at Wall Street, then having to stop and ask a homeless guy for directions. Yup...pretty much a zero chance of that happening (no, I don't want to talk about it).

We got to the terminal just as a ferry began to load, so we joined the queue. Actually there wasn't really a queue, just a mass of humanity funnelling itself into a couple of select openings to make their way onto the boat. Fortunately each ferry holds about 4,000 people, so we had no problem getting on the boat. On the other hand, there only seems to be seats for about 1/2 of those 4,000 people, so on our way out we weren't able to get seats. That's OK, since the real fun of the ferry is to be outside where you can see everything, but here's where we learned something we didn't know about the Staten Island Ferries.

There are two different kinds of Staten Island Ferries, and if your goal is to have a good view of the Statue of Liberty, you only want to be on one of them. The older two ferries, built in 1981, don't have outside areas on the side of the boat. This means that the outside areas on the ends of the boat can get quite crowded. In fact we couldn't even get outside on our trip out, and our kids first views of the Statue of Liberty were through a window that looked like the FBI had been using it to record fingerprints. Not quite the experience I hoped for, but I had a plan.

Old Ferry - No outside seating

When you get to Staten Island, everybody has to get off the ferry. The actual commuters head for home, but a large portion of the passengers just turn around and re-board the ferry to head back to Manhattan. We decided to hold back until the ferry we came over on had departed, and then we caught the next ferry, which happened to be one of the newer ones, back to the city. This ferry had outside seating, so we were left with the outside front area of the boat largely to ourselves. Actually it would have been nice to have a few more people up there with us. It might have kept my wife from trying to re-enact scenes from Titanic.

The ride back was exactly what we had hoped for. The kids got a chance to get a good look at the Statue of Liberty, and as an added bonus the views of Manhattan as you pull back into the city are amazing. Of course the best part (free) was the time that we got to spend together as a family (free) experiencing one of New York's most famous (free) attractions. At least that was my favorite part. My kids were probably far more concerned with how much it cost.

Skyline from Ferry

Adventures in the New York Subway

Getting around New York is easy. It's a perfect city for walking, there's a taxi on every street corner, and the New York subway system runs anywhere you'd want to go. I personally prefer the subway, but for my kids it was a bit of an eye opener. There nothing like the New York subway in Kelowna. Heck, our idea of Light Transit here is when the reading light still works on the bus. It was a little nerve-wracking for my kids to descend into the crowded underground and catch a train into darkness for the first time (Of course it was only the first time since I screwed up the train from Washington), so we decided that we would stay close together and make sure everybody was accounted for.

It took us about five minutes to lose our first person. Actually, we didn't lose Lori, but we did manage to get separated from her. We figured that it would be easiest to just buy one big MTA card (the pre-paid card for the subway system) and pass it back as we went through the turnstiles. This worked fine for the first four of us, but apparently you can only use the MTA card four times at a single station within a certain time period. Lori got stuck out and had to go buy a separate card for herself. I'm really glad that we didn't let one of the kids go last, although they'd probably fit under the turnstiles better than Lori would.

Once you get through the gates and down to the platform, there's really not a whole lot to do but wait. In an effort to kill time, the boy and I started betting on a couple of the giant rats that were racing along the tracks. This was fine, until we managed to get a little too vocal with our cheering, and drew the attention of the girls. Now I've got one girl who wants to leave the subway and catch a cab, one who wants to get closer and figure out if it's a rat or a mouse, and one (who I'm married to) that insists on trying to get a picture of the rat, thus making us look like the biggest tourists to ever venture into the city. This is as close as she came.

Now before we arrived in New York, I loaded five separate apps on my iPhone, all of which had subway maps on them. Two of them were specifically designed to help you figure out which train you needed to be on to get from point A to point B. I also had a fold-out pocket map with me, and I had signed up for text alerts to my phone for service interruptions. All of this meant that I knew exactly what train we needed to catch. What all of this preparation doesn't allow for however, is my super-human ability to always be looking away when a train comes into the station. No matter how focused I am, I always miss the number on the front of the train, and have to ask Lori or the kids which train this was.
There's also the little issue of the trains running in both directions. For instance, an #6 train can get you all the way south to the Wall Street station, or it can take you north to Central Park. This is why I never tell my kids where we're going. If I happen to get on the wrong train, wherever we get off is where I meant to stop. Sure, sometimes the kids wonder why we took the subway across town to see the outside of the Museum of Tibetan Art, but they know better than to question Dad, especially if it's close to allowance time.

There was something we encountered this trip though that I wasn't prepared for, and that's crowded trains. In our past visits to New York, our subway rides had been reasonably empty (with the possible exception of the trip out to Yankee Stadium for a baseball game), and since we were in town on a weekend, I kind of anticipated the same. Not this weekend though. This was national "Pack the subway as tight as it can go" week, and it seemed that we were the guests of honor. The first time we went to get on a subway and it was full, we decided to just wait for the next one. When that one arrived full, we waited again. When the next one arrived filled to capacity, we decided that things weren't going to get any better and we shoved our way onto the train. Being jammed in a tight space with a few hundred other people isn't exactly my idea of a great vacation moment, but it does have a few advantages. For instance, you don't really need to hold on to anything because there's no way anybody is moving no matter how hard the train jerks pulling out of the station. There's also the fact that the "What's that smell" game is infinitely more challenging with a full subway car. Finally, everybody is stuck in whatever position they're in, so when crazy tourists pull out their cell phones to take pictures, nobody really notices.

All in all, the subway would still be my preferred method for getting around New York City, but if you're thinking of trying it with your kids for the first time, let me offer this advice to you:

• Don't have three kids
• Never bet on the bigger rat, they're slower
• Don't trust your kid when he tells you that it was the 'W' train that just pulled in
• When your kids ask where you're going, always say "It's a surprise!" (because it probably will be)
• If you're guessing the smell is coming from the giant bodybuilding dude, keep your voice down and don't point.

Hilton Times Square - Not Quite Hidden Enough

There's a couple trains of thought when it comes to fronting your hotel in Times Square. You can either go big, splashing giant video screens and bling all over your building, or you can go small, blending in with your surroundings and garnering yourself a sort of 'secret' vibe. The Hilton Times Square tends towards the latter, which means that you have to actually pay attention, or you're going to walk right past it.

Of course we all know that teenagers don't pay attention. It was a mere half block walk from where the Bolt Bus dropped us off at the Port Authority to the Hilton, but that was enough time for my kids to start worrying about where I was taking them. I could see their eyes darting all over the frontage of the buildings, looking for something that resembled what they're used to in a hotel. Finally, just as their eyes locked on the giant neon McDonalds and they started to wonder if we were going for food first, or if maybe we were planning on spending the night in the restaurant (the practicality of which would not be lost on me), we hung a sharp right and ducked through a revolving door into the lobby of the Hilton Times Square.

Or what was left of it. Now I'd done my homework, and I knew that the lobby for the Hilton Times Square was on the 21st floor, and that the temporary entrance at street level was under construction. I knew that, but I'm a Dad, and it's my job to tease my children whenever possible. I stopped as soon as we got inside the revolving door, put on my shocked face, and said "Oh no, it looks like they've closed!".

When my kids were younger, this would have been cause for great concern in their world. I would have been able to enjoy taking in their worried looks for at least a few seconds before Lori would tell me to stop acting like a preschooler and explain to the kids that everything was fine. That's the way it would have unfolded a few years ago. This time, when I informed my kids that the hotel was closed, the boy whipped out his iPhone, launched the Hotel Tonight app, and informed me that there was plenty of room at the Plaza tonight for only $700 a room. Apparently my days of teasing my kids are coming to an end (although it's also apparent that the boy doesn't read my blog, or he'd know why we can't go back to the Plaza).

I'm not a huge fan of hotels that you have to take two elevators to get in and out of, but I suppose in New York it's fairly common place. 21 floors up, check-in,

then another 14 floors up got us to room 3505, the room from which my kids would later discover they could see Times Square. It was a fairly normal sized room for a Hilton, which means that in New York terms it was quite spacious. We had no trouble spreading out for the one night we were staying there, although there were a few battles for window space to see everything there was to see out on 42nd Street.

Night View from room 3505

My favorite part of the Hilton Times Square? The location. It's located a half block from the heart of Times Square, and right across the street from the Foxwoods Theater where we went to see Spider-man: Turn Off the Dark. Being so close to the action meant that we didn't have to walk far, we didn't have to stray too much to find something to eat, and most importantly, we didn't all have to go shopping. Lori and my daughter could go and do their part to support the New York economy, while the other kids and I could walk back to the hotel room instead of having to wait on a bench somewhere.

My kids favorite part of the room? Well aside from being able to see Times Square, it had to be the internet speed. Granted, it was a wired connection, but here's the speed test we ran shortly after arrival:

That's probably faster than the speed of our internet connection at home, although in all fairness we use a wireless system at home that's connected to just short of a billion separate devices. As Gold Hilton Honors members our internet charges are waived, but if I was going to swallow my objections to paying for the internet, this would be a connection that I'd be pretty happy about.

Day view from room 3505

Another benefit of being Gold at Hilton is an option for free breakfasts. In the (21st floor) lobby there's a breakfast buffet every morning, so we made sure to get up in time to eat before leaving. It's a standard buffet with bacon, sausage, eggs, waffles and the other expected breakfast foods. The food could definitely have been hotter (or at least luke-warmer), but we were very close to the end of the service, so that could be an explanation. In any case, we're always appreciative of being sent on our way with full stomachs.

And it was when we were sent on our way that the Hilton Times Square impressed the most. As a family of five, taxis don't work that well for us, so instead of trying to find a mini-van cab, we usually just ask the concierge of the hotel to arrange something for us. That's what we did as we were leaving the Hilton, and we were told that an SUV would be right around to pick us up. Instead, when we went out, this is what was waiting for us...

Yeah, my kids were fairly impressed with the Hilton Times Square, and to be honest, I was too. It had the perfect location for our stay, super friendly staff, and lightning quick internet. I just wish they'd make it even a little bit harder to find. It takes a lot more to fool my kids these days. Anybody know of a hotel with no signage at all?

Times Square - My Kids Version

Yesterday came the sad news of the passing of Dick Clark. As fate would have it, today's post is about visiting Times Square with our kids. I never went to Times Square for New Years Eve, but I watched it countless times on TV, and even though we might have flicked around the channels a little, when it came time for the final countdown, we always put our TV on Dick Clark's Rockin' New Years Eve. My kids associate New Years Eve with Ryan Seacrest (or in their words, "That guy from American Idol") so for them it will (hopefully) be quite a while before they lose their New Years Eve host, but for me, the countdown will never be the same again.

There's some questions that I really hate getting from my kids.
"Why is the sky blue?"
"Go ask your Mother."
"Where do babies come from?"
"Seriously...go ask your mother."
"Why do the Dolphins never make the playoffs?"
"Nobody knows. It's a great mystery of life."
My most hated question however, is "So what do we do here?"

When we were in New York, we decided that one of our first stops would be to show our kids Times Square. I'm not sure exactly what we were planning on showing them, but Times Square just seems like one of those places that you have to stop if you're in New York, and besides it was only a half block walk from our hotel to the very crux of the square. After getting everything settled in our hotel, we headed off to go and see what Times Square had to show us. As we walked, I extolled some of the more interesting virtues of Times Square. "It's the crossroads of the world! The Great White Way! One of the busiest pedestrian intersections anywhere and the most visited tourist attraction in the world!"

I thought I'd done a pretty good job of selling Times Square as an exciting place to stop, so I marched my kids up to the corner of 46th and Broadway and found a little space for them to pause and take it all in. There's a lot to see in Times Square, so I began to think about where I could get some food for everybody if we stayed here longer than I had planned, when 'it' came from the boy (it's always the boy)...
"So, what do we do here?"
"What do you mean, what do we do here? You're in Times Square! Look around!"
"Where's Times Square?"
"You're in the middle of it! All of this is Times Square! Everything!"
"So...Times Square is shops?"
"And all the billboards! And the lights! And all the world famous buildings!"
"Oh...OK. How long are we going to be here?"

Now I've played this game with my kids before, and I'm pretty good at sticking to my guns when it's something that I feel is really important, but as I looked around I had to admit that the boy had a point. From my perspective, Times Square is a famous place that I have hundreds of reference points for from different events in my life. To my kids, it was a lot of tall buildings and a whole lot of people. I know that later in life they'll be happy to be able to say "I've been there", but for now there really didn't seem to be much to capture their attention. We decided to head back to our hotel, making the obligatory stops at Disney and Toys R Us along the way, and mark Times Square off as a "been there, done that" item.

We settled in for a little rest in our hotel room before heading out to see Spider-man: Turn off the Dark that night. About the time that I managed to steal enough blanket away from Lori to finally get comfortable on the bed, I heard my daughter from over near the window say "Hey! You can see Times Square from here!".

While I mumbled my delight, her sister went over to the window and exclaimed "Oh wow! There it is! Dad, come and take a picture of Times Square!"

Not sure why our aerial side view of a small portion of Times Square was more interesting to my children than standing in the very middle of all the action as they had been only a few moments ago, I went over to the window to take a look...and there it was. My kids point of reference for Times Square, and the thing that will trigger their "I've been there" stories...

I leaned out and did my best to take some pictures of "Times Square" for my kids. As I showed them the results, one of my daughters asked "Isn't it cool Dad?" Those are the kinds of questions I can handle. They don't even have to go ask their mother.

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