I love my wife. She's beautiful, smart, funny, and has an amazing amount of patience considering how much she has to put up with from the kids and I. Traveling with my wife is one of my absolute favorite things to do in life, but you know how they say nobody's perfect? It's possible...just possible mind you....that my wife may have a little bit of a shopping addiction.
Now I know how addiction works, and I know what you're supposed to do, but every time I try and arrange an intervention, Lori ends up talking all her friends and loved ones into going to the mall with her. Obviously they don't understand the seriousness of this situation, but since I'm losing that battle, I decided that I may as well try and get some tips for you guys from someone who, by pretty much any definition of the word, is an expert shopper. Please note however that usage of these tips is entirely at your own risk. More Kids Than Suitcases accepts no responsibility for any overspending that may take place.
Me: So Lori...ballpark figure. How much do you figure you've spent shopping during our travels?
Lori: I think the proper question here is "How much have I saved?"
Me: OK, fine. How much have you saved then?
Lori: At least enough to justify another shopping trip to celebrate!
Me: I see. Well let's say I'm stricken by temporary insanity and I agree to that. Where would you like to go? What's your favorite city to shop in?
Lori: Oh gee, there's so many. Seattle, San Diego, Las Vegas, Miami, New York, Edmonton....
Me: So basically anywhere you've ever been?
Lori: Los Angeles, Orlando, Phoenix, San Francisco....
Me: I think we get it.
Lori: Honolulu, Vancouver, Key West....
Me: Moving along. I've seen you come home with some really great deals in the past. How do you find them?
Lori: It's all about shopping in the right stores.
Me: So what are the right stores?
Lori: Always start at Tiffany's.
Me: Ha! I've never seen you come home with a great deal from Tiffany's!
Lori: But everything I come home with sure seems like a great deal after looking around in Tiffany's doesn't it?
Me: You know, it kind of does.
Lori: Told you.
Me: Let's talk about getting all this stuff home. Every time we fly somewhere you always pack our suitcases to exactly the 50 pounds that's allowed, yet somehow you always manage to bring all this new stuff back. How do you do that?
Lori: I always make sure to pack things that I'm willing to throw out to make room for new stuff.
Me: Such as?
Lori: Anything of yours.
Me: That actually explains a lot. Finally, how do you always manage to stay within your budget?
Lori: I don't worry about it.
Me: You're pretty good at coming in on budget though.
Lori: Actually, I'm not. I just make sure that if I go over budget, I do it while visiting Victoria's Secret. You've never complained once.
Me: I'm pretty sure I must have complained at least once.
Lori: That's true, you did. Do you remember going to Frederick's of Hollywood that trip?
Me: Of course (Every man remembers any time he gets to set foot in Frederick's of Hollywood).
Lori: How much over budget was I on that trip?
Me: Ummm....I have no idea.
Lori: Exactly. Are we done? There's a sale on at Winners that I really need to get to. I'm meeting my intervention group by the clearance rack.
This post is a part of Travel Tips Tuesday at Suitcases and Sippy Cups and Walkingon Travels. If you didn't get here from there, you should go check it out. There's people there who...well actually I'm not sure there's anybody there at all. I think they all went to join Lori at the sidewalk sale.
Written by Steve Pratt