Tuesday 25 September 2012

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Tips for Avoiding Ski Trips

It's still ridiculously hot and sunny here in Kelowna but, much to my chagrin, it seems that everybody is gearing up for ski season. Every weekend there's another ski gear swap going on, and all of our local outdoors shops have put away the bikes and plastered their windows with posters reminding you that the time to buy your season pass for our local mountains is now! There's even starting to be an increase in Australian accents around town, as the winter-seekers from down under begin to arrive and get ready to work the ski season up at Big White.

What this means for Lori and I though, is another season of attempting to gracefully decline invitations to go up to the mountains for a day of skiing. We're just not skiers. I even went back and gave the slopes another try last winter, but if you weren't around for that story, let me give you an idea of how that ended up:

Turning down invitations however, requires a bit of tact. First of all, it's not the skiers you're trying to avoid but just the skiing. Spending time at the mountain with friends is a lot of fun, but eventually, most people want you to come out on the slopes with them. Skiers are pretty passionate about their sport, so simply telling them that you don't like skiing will lead to many long conversations about how "You just haven't given it a fair shot" so instead, I suggest that you memorize and use these five excuses, designed to maintain friendships while keeping you warm, cozy, and broken leg free.

The snow conditions aren't that great. Let's try something different...

I know absolutely nothing about snow conditions, but I do know that I've never been to a mountain without hearing at least one person complain about them. It seems to be a very subjective thing, so it's doubtful that you're going to get called out for using this one. Try suggesting a different activity like snow fort building, sleigh-riding, or tubing. Most decent sized mountains have these alternatives now, and they're a lot less frustrating than skiing.

I have a (man) cold...

Ladies, this excuse won't work very well for you as we all know that your colds can't be very strong since you don't even slow down when you have one. The man cold though, is the perfect excuse for not leaving the lodge. The skiing male will be amazed that you managed to summon the strength to pick up the phone to call him, since he can relate to just how debilitating these afflictions are. The skiing wife...well she doesn't want to deal with anybody with a man cold either. They'll be more than happy to leave you in the lodge drinking your hot chocolate. 

Or we could fly to Vegas...

I don't know who decided that the prices for skiing should be so astronomically high, but I really have flown to Vegas and back for less than this. Add a couple of bucks and you could probably go water-skiing in Lake Las Vegas for about the same price as spending a day on the local mountain. That seems like a no-brainer to me. I mean, it's still skiing right?

There's too much math...

When I see letters and numbers grouped together, that screams calculus to me, and that's way too much effort for something that's supposed to be fun. Having to use the Pythagorean theorem to find my way down the mountain is not my idea of a good time.

I have to review the lodge for More Kids Than Suitcases...

Obviously this excuse works better if you're me, but consider this your official credentials to work on a guest post about the lodge at XYZ ski mountain. Or the condo. Or the bakery. Whatever gets you out of skiing. I've got your back and will answer all inquiries with "Oh yes, I asked them to do some research for me." Please note however, that this does not apply to telling your wife that I asked you to review the local pub. You're on your own there.

This post is a part of Travel Tips Tuesday at Suitcases and Sippycups and Walkingon Travels. If you didn't get here from there, you should go check it out. There's people there who just might let you review that pub. Of course, they're also going to let your wife write a guest post on the local outlet mall, so keep that in mind.

Written by Steve Pratt