Friday 18 January 2013

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My Family's Problem with Following Instructions

It's not hard. Following instructions is a very simple thing to do. Models do it all the time. The cameraman tells them what kind of pose he wants, and the models follow his instructions and make it happen. It's a simple system that seems to have worked well for the photo shoot industry for many, many years. 

My family apparently works on a different system though. I mean, I'm not trying to hold them up to the high modeling standards of the professionals, but I'm not exactly asking for "Blue Steel" here. So on our recent trip to Safeco Field, all I was asking is that they follow the simplest of instructions and pose for pictures they way I ask. That's clear enough isn't it?

The message isn't getting through.


Seattle Transit train kids

OK, technically they're smiling, so this is probably my fault. What I should have said was "Smile while looking at the camera with your eyes open, and Lori you're not in this shot."

THE INSTRUCTION: "Jump up and celebrate the winning run!"

Seattle Mariners baseball jumping shot

Ignoring the fantastic quality of this picture, it seems that my youngest daughter has never been on a winning team. Either that or winning the AL West pennant just isn't that big a deal to her. I should have said "Jump up and celebrate the winning run and the prize for winning is a puppy!" Then we would have seen some height.

THE INSTRUCTION: "Act like you've just thrown a baseball"

Seattle Mariners entrance gate

See what I did there? It looks like I threw a split-fingered fastball. That's what I was going for. Talon on the other hand apparently thinks that baseballs are the same weight as shot puts, while for some reason both my daughters reverted to the Spice Girls "Stop" dance. Not that there's ever a bad time for that.

THE INSTRUCTION: "Pretend you were just asked a question"

Safeco tour press room interview

How would you like to be the poor reporter who got that look after posing his post-game question? Never, ever ask my youngest daughter a question. There's a reason her teachers don't call on her in class.

THE INSTRUCTION: "Act suspicious"

Seattle Mariners Light rail stadium station

What the...? I said suspicious! Not drunken T-Rex serial killer. Where would you even come up with a pose like that from? 

dinosaur skeleton washington d.c. smithsonian

Oh. Uhhh...never mind. Good job everybody! Let's go back to blaming the camera.

This post is a part of Friday Daydreamin at R We There Yet Mom and Photo Friday at Delicious Baby. If you didn't get here from one of those sites, go over there and check them out..and yes, this is a test to see if you can actually follow instructions.

Written by Steve Pratt