Tuesday 10 January 2012

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There's Something Wrong With My Camera

I'm not real good with photography. I once asked a friend of mine what kind of camera I should get and she suggested that I look for something simpler than a point and shoot. Still, when you live a life that's all about creating memories, and your memory is as bad as mine is, then you need photographic reminders of the things you've done. I can't count how many times a picture has come up on my screen saver and I've thought to myself "Where the heck is that?" Thank goodness for date stamping.

My real problem though, isn't as the photographer...it's as the photographee (Yes, I make up words like that just to annoy my spell check program.). There are people in the world about whom you can truthfully say "The camera loves them". That must be nice. My camera apparently hates me, and although I'm not too sure what I did to it, I've resigned myself to a lifetime of bad photographs. Let me present Exhibit A:

I'm pretty sure that I was just standing here normally, yet the camera seems to have interpreted my smile as some sort of semi-seductive/partially pained, possibly drugged look. Exhibit B:

There's no way that was the actual look on my face. I remember standing there on the Santa Monica pier and being pretty bored. How my camera managed to twist that into....well...whatever this is, is beyond me.
Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Come on Steve. Don't you think you're being a little paranoid? It can't be just you the camera is picking on!" I present Exhibit C:

We're sitting in the arena in Vancouver, waiting for the Taylor Swift concert to start. The boy looks, well, bored. My daughter looks happy. The couple hundred people in the background all look perfectly normal. It's just me.
Well I learned my lesson. For a while there, I avoided all pictures with animals...

on rides....

and Lord knows I wasn't eating anywhere near a camera...

Until eventually I gave up, and I just bought a new camera. I'm pleased to report that, while I can't say my new camera loves me, it apparently doesn't have the venomous dislike for me that the other camera did.

On the other hand, it seems that all cameras have it in for somebody...

Better you than me Tal. Better you than me.