Thursday 19 January 2012

Pin It

Get Gadget

How I Met Your Mother

Kids, the story of how I met your mother is a long and twisted tale. It almost didn't happen, but I guess when things are right, you just can't stop them. I could probably stretch the story out to cover seven or eight seasons of a TV show filled with star actors, but because you guys have the attention span of a toddler, and I don't have to run commercials, I can condense the story down to this one post. Who needs an Emmy?

Your mother led a very different kind of life before we got together. I don't know if she ever told you this, but she was adopted. I'm not sure how it happened, since both of her real parents are still alive. She says that one day she just wandered too close to an orphanage and before she knew it, she had new legal guardians.

At the time I was still coming to grips with the fact that I might never make it as an NBA player. Sure, I had the moves and the ability to father children out of wedlock (not that I ever did...) but there was this whole "too short and out of shape" stigma that somehow got attached to me. Darn stereotypes.

Your Mom's life was pretty easy. Having rich adoptive parents let's you lead a pretty luxurious life, but when you grow up like that, you never really learn the value of money.

I decided that since my sporting career wasn't panning out, I'd look to a future in politics. Somehow, I managed to rise pretty far up in the political ranks, especially considering I'm Canadian.

Our futures were both destined for controversy though. Your Mom started running with the party crowd, but while she could handle it, the people she was associating with couldn't keep up, and your Mom got blamed for a couple of pretty famous flame-outs.

I wasn't immune to the wrath of the public either. People were pointing at me as the source of problems for one of the world's most famous golfers. Apparently "Check out the slope of the green" and "Check out the rack on the one in green" aren't the same thing.

After the dust settled, I finally met your mother. Of course, she was dating somebody else at the time, but she wasn't happy. She suspected he was cheating on her...keeping another blonde on the side. Some sort of singer...

After a fair bit of convincing (and a whole lot of begging), I managed to pry your mother away from that cowboy, and we've been inseparable ever since. We don't run in the same kind of circles that we used to anymore. We've settled down and live a nice, normal life with no more celebrity friends. Well, except for Friday night poker of course. Good old Matt...still thinks he can beat me at cards...