Wednesday, 23 November 2011

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5 Ways Canadians will be Celebrating American Thanksgiving

No, I'm not jealous of my American friends. Why would you think that? Is it because we had our Thanksgiving a month ago and we only got a three day weekend, which our neighbors to the south joined us in while celebrating Columbus day? Yet now here we are in late November and America is taking a four day weekend to give thanks and apparently the powers that be in Canada couldn't think of a reason for us to have a day off. No...I'm not bitter.

Still, every dark cloud must have a rainy day (or something like that), so while all of my American friends are enjoying their time off, here's how us Canadians will be attempting to share just a little in your celebrations:

We'll be giving thanks too:
Mainly we'll be giving thanks that we're not part of the 23.2 million of you who are flying this weekend. I've flown on the American Thanksgiving weekend before, and I'm always shocked at how many people don't travel at any other time of year. At least I assume that they don't. You'd figure that anybody who's been through an airport more than once would realize that yes, a bottle of Jack Daniels is indeed considered a liquid, and no, you can't just chug it to get under the three ounce limit.

We'll be watching the new movies early:
Despite the fact that we're not getting any time off this weekend, we're still going to open our new movies for the week two days early. I suppose this makes some sense since 80-85% of the marketing that we see on TV up here is from American sources, but I can't help but wonder just how many people are going to be at the 9:30 showing of the Muppets tonight, when there's still school tomorrow. Of course, I don't have school tomorrow. So basically the theater will be filled with old people who love talking frogs. Works for me.

We'll be watching football:
My absolute favorite part of American Thanksgiving is that there's a Thursday filled with football. This year is even extra special as my beloved Miami Dolphins get to play in the afternoon game (Watch out Dallas! Here come the 3-7 Dolphins!!). Also, although I'm not sure of the logic behind the decision, bonus points to the Detroit Lions for inviting Canadian rock band Nickelback to play at the half time show.

We'll be shopping your sales:
While I think it's kind of silly that Canada and America have their Thanksgiving on different days, I have no problems with the two countries having different days for their major shopping events. Getting two shots at saving lots of money seems like a good deal to me. Of course, I don't do a whole lot of the shopping in our house. I leave that to Lori, and while I know she's on top of the Boxing Day sales in Canada, I'm not sure that she's fully grasped the concept of Black Friday. I don't think it's supposed to mean that you spend every Friday shopping. I guess at least that way she knows she won't miss it.

We'll be invading your country:
Aha! Thought it was all friendly and stuff between our two countries didn't you? Well it's not! We're just biding our time up here, looking all neutral and innocent, but this is our chance. Nobody is going to suspect an attack from the Great White North. Heck, nobody even suspects that Nickelback is our secret advance team (except maybe the 50,000 people who signed the petition to stop them from playing...they might be on to us), but while all the Americans are too full from turkey to notice, it's time for Canadians to act! Of course, most of us will either be shopping or watching football, and a good chunk of us will probably be at a matinee of the Muppets. Then there's the small detail that we turned most of our military submarines into a kiddie ride at the West Edmonton Mall, and we obviously can't fight on Saturdays, that's hockey night. Hmmm, maybe we'll give you one more year of enjoying your four day weekend. Somebody tell Justin Bieber the attack is off.