This is What Frequent Flyers Want?

This morning's Wall Street Journal ran an article on the charter flight that I took last week.  Here's a link to the story, which includes a video interview that reads a whole lot more into what was going on than I think most of us were aware of.  I remember seeing Mr. McCartney along on the journey, and although I never did get around to talking to him, he seemed very much to fit in with our group of lunatics.

Our Charter Plane

Who he was talking with to get the idea of what frequent flyers want is beyond me though.  I don't know that any of us considered this trip as a chance to "play airline".  I suppose it's true that the leaders of StarMegaDo3 did organize the charter, set the price, and arrange the in-flight details, and they did a fantastic job of it.  If Tommy and Ed were to organize a charter trip to a snake infested swamp, I'd be among the first to sign up (assuming, of course, that there were at least double miles or Starwood status or something).  I'd be along for the fun and comradery though, not for the following things that the article says frequent flyers are looking for:

What Flyers Want:

Champagne toast after takeoff - WTH? Maybe in the 1950's that's what passengers wanted.  This one bugs me the most, as it really makes us seem like a bunch of entitled snobs.  Besides, can you really toast in plastic champagne glasses?

Free Beer and Wine - I wish I could argue this one with you, but I'm pretty sure I'd be in a very small minority from our flight who didn't consider this a perk.  There's a reason the Horizon Air beer plane is a popular route.

Sandwiches, preferably wraps, in a picnic bag for short flights - Ok, my problems with the picnic bag are previously documented, but I'm pretty sure that most of us are capable of getting through a couple hour flight without food.  Even though the wrap they gave us was good, sometimes I'd rather go hungry than have to listen to everybody around me (and myself) eating in a confined space.


Full meal on longer flights - I suppose if you're flying over 8 hours or so it would be nice to get something to eat.  I'm guessing though, that Mr. McCartney had the chicken on our flight, and not the "some kind of beef".


Ability to pay extra to keep the middle seat empty in coach - I think it's a neat idea, but here's a secret.  Most of us who aren't traveling on the company dime, are pretty cheap.  Considering our already high hopes for an upgrade, I'm not sure too many of us would shell out the extra money unless it was available as a last minute option.


In-flight raffle to raise money for pilot scholarships - I think this might not be in the right place, but really, there's never a bad time to mention the Jason Dahl Scholarship Fund.  Mr. Dahl was the captain of United Flight 93 on September 11th, and the charity in his name gives scholarships to young people trying to become pilots who have limited resources.  Does it belong on a list of things frequent flyers want?  Probably not, but how great would it be if it did?


Pillow fights (really) - Are you more surprised by the fact that we had a pillow fight or by the fact that there were enough pillows on board for everybody to have one?


I hope the airline and hotel executives got what they were hoping for from the chance to talk to our group, but most of the people I spoke with were just along for the experience (and the Hyatt diamond status, for those who didn't already have it).  While we do fly a lot, I'm pretty sure the desire for some extra space in a plane is shared by everybody, not just the frequent flyers.  I think for me, a little extra room, free wi-fi, and NFL Sunday Ticket would be enough to swing me to whichever airline offered it.  If we're going to "play airline", then I'm starting with that.

How bad is leg room getting on these flights anyways?

It's Over? I'm Going to Bed!!!

So it's finally over.  Five days and seven cities later, it's time to stuff everything in my (newly purchased) suitcase and head for home.  It's been a lot of fun, and I've learned a lot, met a ton of fantastic people, and been places that I wouldn't even have imagined I wanted to go, but really hope that I get to go back to.  Sure, it hasn't always been smooth (*cough* Passport *cough*) and things were radically changed on the fly (At the last moment the US government wouldn't allow Canadians on the tour of the Air Force base in Denver.  It's OK though because we banned the Americans from visiting Tim Hortons in Montreal.) but eventually, everything got done.  It got done late though.  The shuttle from the hotel left right when it was supposed to tonight, thus making it the first thing in the entire MegaDo to be on time.

Despite our lack of punctuality, I learned an enormous amount of stuff over these five days, and since you couldn't be with me I feel obligated to share some of this knowledge with you. 

Lessons from the StarMegaDo3:

• I know you're thinking it, so let's get it out of the way first.  Always know where your passport is. 
• If, for some reason that was completely not your fault, you should find yourself trying to get in to Canada without a passport, the criteria used by the border guard is whether or not you sound Canadian.  I'm not sure what that is, but apparently it sounds like me.
• It might be time to look in to Nexus.  It saved people almost an hour when we were coming in to Montreal, and almost four hours when coming in to Chicago.  That's time that could be spent in the lounge!
• Speaking of the lounge, apparently the frequent flyer family has an alcohol dependency.  The companies who put on the open bar at the receptions were really playing with fire.
• You're not going to believe this one, but I'm the normal person in this group.  The schemes and routes that these people come up with are amazingly intricate and stunningly efficient.
• Their favorite way to earn miles though, is credit card churning.  I got to watch at one point while a few guys were comparing credit card collections.  It blew me away.  Some of these guys have stacks of cards bigger than the stacks of hockey cards I used to collect when I was younger.  I did laugh when I saw that they were wrapped in elastic bands though.  Don't these people know about "Mint Condition"?
• Only in the world of frequent flyer miles is an 18 year old with 15 credit cards a sign of brilliant planning.

• We care about things that nobody else cares about.  A behind the scenes tour of a hotels laundry facilities might not be high on your list of "must dos" on a vacation, but we all jumped at the chance.  Some of us twice.
• When trying to order at Dairy Queen in Montreal, the french word for shake is not "le shake" and calling it that will get you some kind of caramely float drink.
• Do not try and walk at a quick pace 30 minutes after arriving in Denver.  Or maybe I'm just that out of shape.
• If you get the chance, ask about upgrading to a package that actually has sleep scheduled in to it.
• With this group, you don't have to be first in line for the food, there will be plenty.  If they're handing out free stuff though, you'd better be quick.
• Apparently most hotels aren't set up to handle 161 top level elite members arriving at once.  Kudos to the Hyatt Montreal for having everything worked out perfectly.
• The most Chinese looking building in Montreal's Chinatown is the Holiday Inn.

• There's good and bad points to running into us in the airport.  If you're behind us going through security, don't worry.  I promise you we don't have a pocket knife in our pants and a six pack of water in our carry on bag.
• On the other hand, if you were planning on trying to use the elite line, we apologize for the 161 people you just found yourself behind.

It's been a fun week, but I'm more than ready to head home for a little bit.  If you get the chance to go on one of these trips, I would highly encourage it (there's one coming up in January) but make sure you know what you're getting yourself in for.  Quiet, orderly, and complacent are not words used to describe this bunch of crazy people.  I heard insane, unruly, and disorganized to name a few.  The rest were uttered by people behind us at hotel check-in, and I can't print those here.

StarMegaDo3 Continues! Charter Flight to Denver.

I guess it's not over.  Yesterday I told you how I threw out my passport on my flight from Chicago to Montreal.  I did notify United, but I didn't really expect them to be able to come up with my passport.  I cancelled all my reservations for Denver, and booked a flight home to Kelowna.  I decided to book a late flight so that I could still go on the Bombardier tour in Montreal before leaving.  Well while I was on the bombardier tour, I got a tweet from somebody in our group (thank you so much asya999) that United had found my passport.  Cancel the flight to Kelowna, get back on the charter flight to Denver, and now I'm trying to rebook my way back home.  The lesson here: Always keep your passport in the same place, so from now on when I'm traveling solo I'm going to take my wife's purse with me.

So with  passport in hand, it's off to Denver.  This is my first experience with a charter flight.  I imagine all charter flights are a little different, but a charter flight filled with 150 of the most frequent flyers, all of whom are top tier elite in their respective airline programs, gets a little strange.  You know the safety briefing at the beginning of every flight, that you've heard so many times you always say you could give the demonstration for the flight attendant?


Sorry it's blurry.  It's hard to shoot when you're laughing so hard.

So if we're doing the safety demonstrations, what do the flight attendants get to do?



They model the prizes for the charity raffle of course.

One thing that came out of flying with so many frequent flyers is that I actually had to sit in the back of the plane.  I can't remember the last time I had row 29 on my boarding pass, and while I can't say I love sitting back there, there was a benefit.

Leaving Montreal.  I never get pictures with the wing in them.

Jini and Oleg, my seatmates.

They fed us again.  Our choices were "Chicken Parmesan" or "Some Kind of Beef".  I'm in row 29.  I got "Some Kind of Beef".  It was an accurate description.

We're frequent flyers.  We're not high maintenance.  You don't need to bring the beverage cart to us.  We know where everything is.

Wait, did I say not high maintenance?  Attendant call lights are fun, but the next thing heard over the P.A. was "Somebody's gonna get a broken finger!"

I'm not sure if flight attendants would enjoy working one of our charter flights or not.  I know we're all having a good time, but their job is to keep us safe and make sure we don't break any FAA regulations.  Trying to get us to do something is like trying to herd cats....deaf cats.....with ADD.  Yeah, that's us, deaf cats with ADD.  Congratulations to the crew of Continental 1821Y for getting 150 deaf cats from Chicago to Montreal to Denver without anyone managing to hurt themselves (too badly), and we're sorry you didn't win the iPad this year.

I, however, have decided that charter travel is a much more fun way to fly, so from now on I'm going to need 150 of you to come with me wherever I'm going.  Phoenix next month....who's in?

Arriving in Denver.  Hopefully my last view of the back of the wing for a while.

Seven Stages of StarMegaDo3 Grief

Ask me how much fun I've been having for the last couple of days.  Yesterday I took the subway across Chicago for a social with executives from Hyatt and United Airlines.  Tonight I'm in Montreal at a dinner with representatives from Air Canada.  Tomorrow we're going to tour the Bombardier factory in the morning, and then everybody is going to get on a plane and fly off to Denver for a meeting with Hyatt.

Except me.

My StarMegaDo is going to end tomorrow because somewhere along the way from Chicago to Montreal, I lost my passport.  I recall having it at security in Chicago, but as soon as I joined the (really long) line at customs in Montreal, panic began to set in.  My passport wasn't in any of the normal places that I would keep it (actually the normal place for it is in my wife's purse, but since I was solo...) and no matter how many times I re-checked the small zippered pocket on my bag, the passport didn't reappear.  I thought back to the last time I saw it, which was with my boarding passes at security in Chicago.  Then I remembered the last time I saw my boarding passes when I put them in the lunch bag that had been left for us on our seat of the plane.  I remember taking my boarding passes out.  I remember giving the bag to the flight attendant to throw away.  I don't remember taking my passport out.  Even for people as slow at linear thinking as me, I think I know what happened to my passport.

One thing I do feel bad about is that I probably looked like a complete jerk to my fellow MegaDoers.  The customs line snaked, so we past each other many times over the hour and a bit that we were in line, and many jokes and conversations were happening, but I wasn't participating, and in case any of them happen to read this, I'm sorry for being a wet blanket and here's what was going through my mind:

The Seven Stages of StarMegaDo3 Grief:

1) Shock and Denial - "I know my passport's here somewhere.  Where would I be if I were a passport?  I'd be at the front of this damned line, that's where I'd be."

2) Pain and Guilt - "No! This can't be the end of the trip for me!  How will Hyatt know what to do if I'm not there to tell them tomorrow!"

3) Anger and Bargaining - "Why did they give us that stupid lunch bag anyways?  Don't they know I was sitting in coach?  There's not supposed to be free food in coach!"

4) Depression, Reflection, Loneliness - "I'm going to miss all the swag that's still to be given out!  And what if I win the raffle and I'm not there?  Sigh..I'm so alone...I mean..besides these other 5,000 people who've all chosen this exact moment to immigrate to Canada via the Montreal airport."

5) The Upward Turn - "OK, this could be worse.  I've lost my passport, but I think I still have my student ID card from 1986.  I'm pretty sure that's all I need to get back into Canada."

6) Reconstruction and Working Through - "I don't need a passport to fly within Canada.  I can book a ticket and fly back home to the west coast from Montreal tomorrow.  If I fly Air Canada, I'll even earn more miles!"

7) Acceptance and Hope - "I'm going to be famous.  There's no way the organizers can remember everybody on these trips, but I've gotten a chance to talk to each of them today, and they're always going to remember me as 'That idiot who threw his passport away in the middle of the MegaDo."

Thanks to Randy, Tommy, Ed, and everybody who worked so hard to put on this amazing trip.  I'll be back next year for sure, with a new passport (and Global Entry....Lord knows I'm getting Global Entry before we do this again.)